The High Countries

because it’s all paperweight…

Time to Review!

Some of them, I should have seen long ago. Others, long, long ago. But now, you know. Into the fray!

*Scale of score is a 1-10.

GET LOW: 8.38

Bill Murray also maintains his presence as one of the funniest men on the globe as a funeral home owner, Frank Quinn, who’s in desperate need of “some deaths around here”. The final scene alone is worth the price of admission.

 

 

 

 

 




[REC]: 8.06

The original Spanish-version of Quarantine. Its marvelous. And creepy and perfectly formatted and filmed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[REC 2]: 8.81

The follow up to REC 1, this beats it on all levels: scares, jumps, and above all … Story. Its absolutely terrific, and blows Paranormal 2 out of the water.

 

 

 

 

 

HEREAFTER: 3.41

The worst film of 2010. It was worth putting in this list again, just because it did so poorly with so much. I can’t say this enough. This film is rubbish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SESSION 9: 1.81

Billed as a scary, closed-in freak fest, this was anything but terrifying — and I was ready for a scare; believe me, I tried hard. It was about as scary as a 4 year old with a Scream mask on. Okay, that’s pretty scary. It was not that scary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JACKASS 3D: 7.24
It is what it is. But a jet engine shooting raw materials at guys in lawn chairs? Ding, here’s $12, you win, now give me my glasses…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RED: 7.68
Its a CIA movie with geriatric agents. And its actually not that bad. It helps that it has John Malkovich in it though … that always does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PREDATORS: 4.58
I can’t be too harsh on this flick — we sat down as a house to watch a terrible B-level movie and we nailed it on the head, the problem is, it takes itself SOO seriously. Follow up question: Adrian Brody … Who did you piss off to fall so quickly….? I mean like, light-speed-fast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 1: 8.14
I was in need of a great new drama ever since LOST went off the air. Though, TWD is no LOST, it is super fun with some GREAT drama — the key to release the handcuffs anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PASSENGER SIDE: 2.21
Heralded as a coming-of-age tale about two brothers driving through LA to figure out life, this movie quickly became about put-downs and emo-vagueness. And I would go listen to Feist if I wanted that…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE CURSE OF THE HOPE DIAMOND: 7.08

Ha ha! This doc was great! I didn’t that the Hope Diamond (the biggest diamond in existence) had a curse behind it! Nor did I know that, in terms of diamond quality, the Hope is not only the largest (by lots) but also the rarest form of diamond, the clearest, the bluest and the most chemically and naturally brilliant diamond ever seen or hoped for. Pun.

 

 

THE SWITCH: 8.79
As Entertainment Weekly put it a couple weeks ago — “The Switch deserves another chance.” This Rom-Com is a splendid journey; Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman hold the screen and legitimately made me laugh with the smart writing, great acting while adding a little sperm-spice to life. Honest to goodness, I loved this flick. Its right up there with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Day for me. Fantastic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HUNGER: 8.42

There is a 23-minute scene (17 and a half minutes of it is a one-take) between an IRA Hunger Striker (Michael Fassbender) and a Belfast Priest (Liam Cunningham). And it is remarkable. It is known now know as The Scene. If you haven’t seen it, you haven’t seen it. So you should probably watch it tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VALHALLA RISING: 3.10
Great poster, but oh, it was bad. It was really, really bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOY A: 7.07
I’ll watch anything Andrew Garfield is in after I saw him in The Social Network. So now I’ll watch the new Spider-Man and later in life I’ll go back and watch The Other Boleyn Girl. For now, Boy A was good. Not great (Garfield is pretty terrific), but good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CENTURION: 6.15
Ironically, another Michael Fassbender movie. It was fun. And I watched it after VALHALLA RISING … So naturally, it was a 6.15/10 masterpiece.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRON: LEGACY: 8.13
The movie was fun, okay. It wasn’t Star Trek and it wasn’t Transformers 2. It was somewhere in the middle. Somewhere right alongside … National Treasure 2, maybe. Daft Punk’s soundtrack was EASILY the best part.

 

 

 

 

BARNEY’S VERSION: 3.11
This was a comedy. This was a comedy? I’m still trying to figure out what was funny about Barney leaving three marriages and covering up a murder. His name? His numerous addictions? I didn’t laugh once. And I was trying. This is only the 3rd movie this year that Rotten Tomatoes has let me down on (The Town, The Fighter, et al)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TINY FURNITURE: 2.12′

I was told Lena Dunham has a “fresh voice” for the industry to hear. She does not. In TINY FURNITURE, she filmed her life right out of film school, but not in doc form as much as in boring form. Look mom, I made a movie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE WAY BACK: 5.21
They walk. And they walk some more. I’m not kidding. Don’t see it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PIRANHA 3D: 5.3

They were going for “gratuitous sex, nudity and violence”. They nailed it. And the movie made $83m worldwide … So now we get a sequel. What do you bet Jerry O’Connell survived?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP: 9.6

My favorite doc of the year — thought provoking, intriguing, genuine in its satire and empirical evidence and a documentary about something I knew nothing about before hand. It was wonderful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RABBIT HOLE: 8.18
This was a tough one to get through; incredibly tragic and far too real to be a movie. If you don’t have a strong relationship/marriage, I don’t know I’d recommend watching it. Kidman and Eckhart were beyond incredible and one fight between them is maybe the rawest scene of the year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT: 5.5
If I’m being blunt, I didn’t care for it much. I thought it was a great premise, but the execution had me pulling to break up a family — what? Where did they go wrong? Where did I go wrong? Is it natural for a biological father (who screwed up) to want to raise his kids?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LEOPARD: AGENT OF THE DARK: 6.1
I went on a documentary binge before I went to sleep this past month. And this was the beginning of a long list of nature docs. All that to say, the leopard is awesome and huge, but not huge enough to ward off Lions and Hyenas and other born-bigger meat-eaters. Poor dude. No wonder it takes its kill into trees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE WOLFMAN: 2.41

This is RIGHT alongside HEREAFTER as the worst movie I’ve seen in a while. It was so bad we shut it off. So technically, I can’t say I’ve seen it. Though, I bet you I could tell you what happens. In related news: did you know that The Wolfman nearly caused Anthony Hopkins to quit acting? And if it weren’t for THOR director, Kenneth Branagh calling him to ask him to play Thor’s regal father Odin, he was considering calling it quits altogether because of his time on The Wolfman? If you haven’t figured it out yet, Joe Johnston is directing Captain America, too. Oh… Joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

LITTLE FOCKERS: 7.04
I was really happy after the first one. And I can’t seem to get back there. Please call it quits guys. I mean, it wasn’t Mystery Men — but it wasn’t Zoolander either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FREAKONOMICS: 7.78
The middle gets real slow but there’s one part that STILL has me thinking: Roe v. Wade was passed in 1973 … And 18 years later, national crime rates in the nation’s largest cities noticeably decreased. Coincidence or correlation? Freakonomics handles this data marvelously.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KING KORN: 5.01
This was a weak doc that didn’t go far enough into Korn (Corn). Yes, I already knew that everything is made out of corn. And that the government largely pays for farmers to make a profit on their harvests. And that corn is high in starch. And that processed, corn-fed meats are bad for you. Tell me something I didn’t learn in The Garden, Fast Food Nation, Super-Size Me or Food Inc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE: 7.2
Gotta love a sleeper. This was supposed to be a cookie cutter Rom-Com. What turned out was a great, heart felt, hilarious love story about skinny dude meeting smokin’ hottie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SLEEPERS: 8.03
I’d never seen it. And I’ll never look at Kevin Bacon the same again. I’m dead serious. And to think I ate Thai food next to that guy one time. If you haven’t seen it, brace yourself. Its a dark tale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRICK: 8.14
I’d been told by so many people to see this movie. And now I’m so glad that I did. Murder on the Orient Express meets Sherlock Holmes meets High School. Awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

BURIED: 7.02
Ugh, it was so close! Great premise, great timing, but the execution took a couple wrong turns! I will say though, I’m on team Ryan Reynolds. Have been for quite some time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. 9.2
I put this on here again because the soundtrack and movie are so, freaking good. If you haven’t seen it — get an HD tv and some great sound, turn it up and fully enjoy the blast you’re about to have. My fiancé cried during it, she was so happy. I nearly joined her. And I’d seen it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FROZEN: 3.21

If you like B-level scares, this one’s for you. Three skiers get stranded on the lift and are going to be left there for a week…. How to get down? Make a B-level horror of course!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ETERNAL EMEMIES: THE DOCUMENTARY: 9.17
Best nature doc I’ve seen since LIFE. The eternal struggle between Lions and Hyenas. I’m not kidding you, the shots they get and the stories they tell about this epic, life-long battle are remarkable. The end left me more satisfied than an Mai Tai on the beach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TIGERS OF THE SNOW 5.11
I was on a Tiger/Lion binge. This was good — Siberian Tigers are friggin’ huge, btw. And can kill just about anything. Oh, and a baby Siberian, when picked up by a scientist inside its den is still capable of doing a surprising amount of damage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’M STILL HERE: 6.02
Plainly said: this would have been a MUCH cooler doc had I know it was fake. That said, the Diddy scene when Phoenix plays him his music is hysterical and brilliant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RESTREPO: 9.2
The single most emotional moment I’ve witnessed in a documentary is caught in this movie. The soldiers must mount a hill as bullets fly over their heads … What happens next is staggeringly real.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WAITING FOR SUPERMAN: 9.5
Maybe the “best” doc of the year in terms of what it shines its light into. Scary, emotional, moving and honest, this doc ought to be seen by ALL.

April 1, 2011 Posted by | Entertainment, Film Reviews, Movies, Television | Leave a comment